Following the dharma in the 21st century

As part of our Mitra Study course, we take it in turns to do a project on the modules we study – and this time it was my turn!  The module we were studying was An Interconnected World – Buddhist Ethics.

I decided to take a more creative approach to my usual research-presentation style and made a video.  I chose two pieces of music which came to mind during the study, and put video clips, words and images to the music.  I was going to add a third song at the end but in a fit of self-doubt I deleted it thinking people would be bored by then, but I may re-do the video to include it after feedback from the group.

So, hopefully here is the video – note, I do not have the copyright for these songs therefore I am not sharing it on YouTube (and it’s too large for Vimeo).  NOTE THE VIDEO IS 1.8Gb if you’re trying to download it!  (and yes, I forgot to hit encode in my excitement at embedding a video for the first time in my blog – wait a moment for it to encode!!)

I’ve just got home from another great mitra study evening – for those of you who don’t know what that means, when you make a commitment to practice as a Buddhist in the Triratna Buddhist Community and become a Mitra – or friend (you can read more about this on one of my earlier posts) – you have the option to join a small study group, which follows a four year programme covering all the basic aspects of Buddhism.  Basically it gives you a good grounding in all the core concepts through a well structured programme from which you choose the modules from each year that your group wishes to study.  Buddhism has a heck of a lot of concepts which can seem a bit unwieldy if you’re trying to find it out by yourself, so I find this group especially helpful.

An Interconnected World

We are currently studying a module called ‘An Interconnected World – Buddhist Ethics and Contemporary Issues‘ which is proving to be a really interesting module covering everything from genetic engineering and using social networking and other modern technology through to environmental issues.  Today, we were looking at our relationship to the environment – when I initially read the title I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes and expecting a lecture on how we should not be driving cars or flying abroad, however actually it generated quite a lot of really pithy discussion in our group.

For example, one of the quotes which really struck me early on was:

However environmental problems are resolved, it will be because people learn to behave differently

The more I thought about it, the deeper I dug into how true this statement is (in my opinion). Change happens when people learn to behave differently.  To make a difference in anything, we need to learn to do things differently.

What can I do to make a difference?

Taking responsibility

For quite some time I’ve made a personal commitment to reduce our reliance on the environment by recycling, reusing, and reducing our waste, cutting down on our energy use, reducing our reliance on cars and so forth.  We recycle everything we are able to via our local collection service and the bottle banks at our local supermarkets, and I re-use glass jars to make painted candle holders.  I also re-use cards to make new cards (so don’t be surprised if your Christmas card looks familiar next year!) and use plastic pots and bottles out in the garden.  Our local Freecycle scheme has allowed us to redistribute unwanted items and to acquire things for free – such as wooden shelving units, white goods, old textbooks and much more.  This ethos also spills over into the way I run my business (we were just awarded the Suffolk Carbon Charter Bronze Award for our efforts!)

Knowing what you’re using

In our household we have just started a simple spreadsheet which allows us to track each month how much electricity and water we’re using (we will just read the meter each month, although the water one is a bit tricky as it’s down a deep hole and generally under water itself!  Any suggestions welcome!?), in an attempt to firstly be aware of just how much energy we use, and secondly to work on actively reducing it.  I genuinely have no idea what we use – the bills come, and as long as they’re not drastically different to normal we pay them.  In the grand scheme of things, I couldn’t even guess how much electricity or water we use per month and therefore whether we use a lot, not very much, etc.  This startles me somewhat, the fact that I don’t have any idea how much we use!

Using energy more efficiently

We’ve also been thinking creatively about how we can alter our use of energy to be more efficient.  We have already done all the usual stuff – replace bulbs with energy efficient ones, thermostats on the radiators in rooms are on frost-protection unless we’re using the room, and so forth.

Another issue we’ve come across relating to this latter point is that  I am a cold-blooded mortal and am always chilly, especially in the evenings.  This usually means that I have the radiators on in whatever room I happen to be in (of course after I have put on extra layers, and I am always wearing a jumper!), however my partner John is a warm-blooded soul, and finds it rather stifling when the rooms are really warm – not to mention when I want to have two duvets on the bed to keep me warm at night and he doesn’t even want one!  Also, with my hypermobility, I often have several hot water bottles positioned strategically over achy joints at night (and to heat up the bed!).

For Christmas I was given two wonderful, and very thoughtful presents!  John bought me (well, us really, as he benefits as much as I do!) an electric blanket for our bed, which has dual control – so I can have my side like a roasting sauna, and his side is off!  Initially I thought it would be a big expense having the blanket on most nights, however when I thought about it, actually I’m no longer heating the entire bedroom, or using hot water bottles, and the heat generated is contained within the location it is needed and therefore not wasted.  Plus it’s clever and it self-regulates, so it only gets warm when the temperature in that area drops below the temperature setting.

I also got a fleece throw from John’s family which is also electric for when I am in other rooms, again meaning I don’t always need the radiator on when I’m elsewhere.

I don’t know yet if these will make a big difference to our energy use, but it seems a slightly more sensible use of resources!

Where do we waste resources?

The more I thought about this, the more I started considering the times when I do waste resources.  For example, when I have a shower I often turn on the shower while I am getting undressed, wasting a good few minutes worth of water and electricity.  I often listen to the radio through the TV rather than through the stereo, which uses a lot more power.  I’m also quite guilty of buying food and having it go to waste because I don’t use it in time – something which came up in a previous week.

It does make me think back to when I was out in Nepal on my gap year, when water was at times scarce, power was only available occasionally and certainly was not regular, and so much of what we rely on just wasn’t available.  My mum recounts that when I came home after four months in Nepal, the first thing I remarked on was how amazing it was to turn on a tap and have an endless supply of fresh water to drink – something I now tend to really take for granted!

I do genuinely believe that if everybody who had the ability to do so was able to really look a their use of resources and consider whether they could cut down in some areas, not only would they save money but perhaps more importantly, our demands on the environment would be significantly lessened.

Are we happy to ‘live in our palace’?

The story of the Buddha tells that he lived a sheltered life, as his father was told when he was born that he would be a great leader, but if he experienced suffering he would become a great ascetic (holy man) – so he actively tried to prevent his son from experiencing suffering by giving him everything he could ever want, and sheltering him within the palace walls from the rest of the world.  The Buddha (he was Siddhartha Gautoma at that point) experienced what is known as the ‘four sights’ where he saw sickness, old age and death (the fourth was a holy man, which he saw as a potential way out of suffering) .  He was spurred on to leave the palace, to break the bonds of status and material security and become a wandering ascetic.

In time, the suffering of others was to shape his whole life, a life of simple wandering, and of heart to heart communication that moved the poorest and richest alike.  And yet this was no life of miserable self-sacrifice, but a liberated life of beauty and bliss.

The material goes on to suggest that many of us in the Western world dwell in a kind of palace, relatively insulated from the kind of poverty and insecurity that affects much of the world.  The Buddha felt that to stay in the palace would be a life of limitation, a life not fully lived – are we content with our ‘palace’ lifestyle?

Be the change you want to see in the world …

Ultimately, we can choose how to live our lives.  We are for the most part free to decide whether we want to recycle or not, where to shop, what jobs we wish to do.  We are incredibly fortunate to have this precious opportunity.  We can retreat into our palace, or we can embark on a journey of change.  Going forth into homelessness like the Buddha did so many years ago might not be practical for us here and now .. but we can make baby steps towards blurring the boundary walls, and seeing beyond our palace.

Fear of loss, or exciting adventure?

While it is natural to feel loss when we ‘give something up’ we could also flip this around and look at it as an adventure – an opportunity to explore whether we can make a difference and an excitement at what positive things can move into the space we have created.  If we are open to the possibility of change, we can make the change, even if we have to start with tiny steps like switching off lights and turning off appliances.

Whatever changes we make, I think it’s important that we really take time to consider what is underpinning them.  We are going to try to reduce our electricity and water use primarily as a cost-saving measure, however for me I also see this as a way in reducing the strain I am putting on our constant demand for energy which is naturally exploiting the worlds’ resources – whether that be from coal-fired, nuclear-powered, gas-fired or whatever, it all comes from a power station somewhere.  The water comes from a water-course somewhere, and we use an awful lot of it.  Every time I water the garden in the summer I am reminded that there are families who walk miles to get the amount of water I use, just to drink.

I often find it overwhelming when I start thinking deeply about all the damage that is being done to the world, the environment, our universe – almost a ‘what can I possibly do that would affect such a huge problem’ … however what I find quite grounding and positive is that if I make an effort to be the change I want to see in the world, somewhere along the line it might just make a difference.  Whether that be because we’re using less of the resources and switching to less harmful alternatives, or because through my actions I inspire others to make changes, who inspire others … baby steps turn into giant leaps for mankind

The shrine for our mitra ceremony

So, the blog has been neglected slightly of late! Ooops!

A lot has happened over the last month or so .. where to start?!

Mitrification

On 23rd December myself, Sean, Con and Peter became Mitras at Colchester Buddhist Centre in a lovely ceremony – a photograph taken by Sean of the shrine shows our offerings of flowers (to signify impermenence), candles (to signify the ‘light’ of enlightenment and wisdom) and incense (to signify how the teachings of Buddhism affect the whole of our life, just as the smell of incense spreads through the air).

Retreat and birthday!

After a lovely, relaxing Christmas with my partner’s family, I set off on a scenic tour of Britain!  First stop, Taraloka retreat centre in Wales, where my friend Ellie was on retreat over Christmas.  After a rather skatey drive up the bendy windy roads of Bettisfield and the well known ice rink that is the farm track up to Taraloka, I arrived in good time and was greeted with a well received cup of tea!

Ruth and Ellie, Dhanakosa

Ellie and I then departed for stage 2 of the epic journey, up to her flat in Falkirk!  Quite a long journey later we somehow managed to skate up the ice-rink of a hill from the town hall car park to her flat (literally, at one point Ellie was moving backwards without actually moving!) …. notice a theme here?! where we were staying for the evening.  After a scrummy dinner and much ooohing and aaahing at the awesomeness of under-floor heating (and maybe a screening of Finding Nemo!) we headed off to sleep before an exciting week ahead!

The Women’s Winter retreat has been happening at Dhanakosa retreat centre, situated near Balqhuidder, Central Scotland, for quite some years.  Led by Parami with a great support team, we spent a week studying the Therigata – stories from the earliest women in Buddhism – and meditating, while having an awful lot of fun!  It happened to be my birthday on New Years Eve, and I was treated to a ‘Clootie Dumpling’ .. apparently a Scottish delicacy (google for recipies!) along with learning Ceidleigh dances, morris dancing with spoons, poetry recitals, singing, guitar playing, story telling – even a ghost story! – and ending the year with a fantastic meditation and puja.  If you’d asked me a year ago, I’d have never thought I would be bringing in the new year chanting the Padmasambhava mantra outside in sub-zero weather, in the middle of Scotland, watching the things we wanted to let go of or transform wash away in water or burn in flames under a cloudless, star filled sky!

It really was such a fantastic retreat, I highly recommend it to anybody who is interested.  During the last ritual before the retreat ended, I made quite an important decision …. which people who weren’t on the retreat had to wait a few weeks to hear about while I sounded it out to myself and made absolutely sure it was the right decision ……

Asking for ordination!

For quite some time I had known that Buddhism was ‘for me’ – in fact, probably since I was about 16 I considered myself to be ‘Buddhist’ in some shape or form.  It was really interesting re-discovering my blogs from 2001-2003 where I talked a lot about my interest in Buddhism, and about discovering meditation.  When I looked back even further, to 1999/2000, I found lots of references to Buddhism in my diaries from when I was in Nepal during my gap year.  I think, really, when I came away from the Young Women’s Retreat last year, I knew that my ‘path’ was Buddhism and I had found my context in which to practice, but didn’t really know enough about myself, the movement, or the processes to know what I was committing to.

At Dhanakosa I realised that I did see my path quite clearly aligned with Buddhism, and that at ‘some point in the future’ I would ‘probably’ ask for ordination ….. when I reflected on that statement it seemed to be full of self-doubt, lacking in confidence and enthusiasm, and just plain vague.  During the ritual, we had two candles about 2ft apart, symbolising the flames of transformation, and what I like to call the ‘vajra runway’ leading up to the shrine, two lines of vajras about 2ft apart, symbolising determination. We approached the shrine, and made known what we were going to take away from the retreat and carry forward into the next year – and it just came to me that I needed to transform, I needed to be determined, and I needed to have the courage to break through my self doubt, find my confidence, and be quite clear about my intentions!

Back in the real world, the self doubt, confidence and vagueness started to creep back in, and two weeks later I still hadn’t sent off my letter or spoken to anyone about asking for ordination … after all, I’d only just become a mitra, I was only 29, I had only been part of a sangha for a year, it was such a huge commitment, I’d not even started mitra study yet, I didn’t really know many order members very well, ohhhhhh all the doubts and questionning and everything started to come out .. like little maras stomping around in my mind!  By this point I had tried to write ‘the letter’ and it had already been through about 10 iterations – each one being too long, too short, too detailed, not detailed enough ….. and then I kept hearing this scottish sounding voice in the back of my head saying ‘for goodness sake woman, just send the letter!’ .. so I did!

Physio starts again

Unfortunately with the good comes the not so good, and after the excitement of having asked for ordination came the commencement of ‘shoulder class’ at Physiotherapy.  I’ve had endless problems with my Hypermobility (also known as Ehlers-Danlos Type III) for the last year or so, including 4 weeks off sick with extreme fatigue.  One aspect of the problems I have is that when I sleep or lean on my arm or shoulders, my upper arm ‘subluxes’ (partly comes out of the socket) painlessly, but in doing so, stretches the nerve.  This results in me waking up every 2-3 hours with a totally numb arm from shoulder to finger which has happened most of my adult life, but I didn’t realise a) that it was abnormal and b) that anything could be done about it.  My consultant suggested that physio may help to strengthen the shoulders and hopefully reduce this happening (and hence result in a better nights sleep!).

Given the fact that in 2006 I qualified as a physio (but never worked as one except for in private practice for a year) I do struggle with being told I need to see a physio.  Surely I should know what to do myself and be able to do it!  But I guess sometimes you need someone else to tell you what to do!

So, I duly started shoulder class on the recommendation of the physiotherapist, and it was quite an awakening.  I knew that I had lost an awful lot of my exercise tolerance and stamina, but I was truly shocked and really quite upset by the true extent of the changes.  A year or two ago, I was teaching the exercises I was doing – and doing them easily with weights and resistance in the gym for a couple of hours – but now, after half an hour my muscles were shaking like jelly, I felt like I had run a marathon and then done an hours worth of press-ups, and I really didn’t like that.  To say I was feeling low was an understatement – I was overwhelmed with what I can only call grief for the ‘former me’.  Interesting when meditating on this .. what ‘me’?!  It’s that idea of a fixed self again!

Trying desperately not to dwell too much on the past and how I ‘used to be’, I’ve been looking more into what I have now – although I wear splints on both hands, sit on a funny chair, type with a funny keyboard and use a funny mouse, and have an amazing uppy-downy-electricy-whizzy-desk .. I am probably the happiest and most content that I have ever been in my adult life.  Although it’s really tough financially running my own business and having to make ends meet, I feel free to make my own choices, to decide what is right for me, to live to my own ethical standards and to accept that I need to listen to my body and my heart, rest when I need to, be silly when I want to, dance around the kitchen if I can .. a year ago I was such a different person.

Young women’s retreat 2011

Young Women's Retreat 2011

All this interest and involvement with Buddhism started just over a year ago with an invitation to the Young Women’s Retreat on Facebook – which had a hugely transformative effect on my life and for which I am really grateful to Singhamati and the team who are the driving force behind the Young Buddhist Movement – without them, I probably wouldn’t have found my way back to Buddhism for quite some time.

Coming back to the same retreat a year later felt very strange – it was on a totally different theme (‘The True Individual’) – and I was quite curious to see how I found it.  The other difference was that I was planning to stay on for a couple of days to help the Taraloka community with managing their website.  The retreat was brilliant and it was lovely to meet friends I already knew and those I had not yet met.  I think I was expecting the same kind of transformative response but this year was a lot more subtle.  The theme of the true individual keeps popping up all over the place, and is something which I’m finding really interesting to consider on a deeper level.

The interesting thing I have found is just reflecting on the huge transformations that have happened over the last year.  So many positive things have happened, circumstances have aligned to direct me towards various life decisions which have ultimately led to where I am now – and I am very grateful to everyone for the gentle nudges or delicate shoves along the way!  I am sure this year will be just as exciting and transformative (and hopefully see a slightly more active blog too!).

I’ve had a few people ask me now what ‘Buddhist’ people do at Christmas so I thought I would put my responses into a blog post and maybe draw in some other bits and pieces along the way! I’m a bit poorly at the moment with the inevitable winter lurgy so I apologies in advance if I lose the track mid way through or if this ends up being quite short!

So, do Buddhists celebrate Christmas? I guess it really depends on what you’re asking. Do Buddhists go to church, worship Christ and so forth .. probably not! This doesn’t however mean that they don’t take part in the festivities, particularly in the western world where Christmas has in many cases become far detached from Christianity.

In my family, my partner and all of our extended family are not Buddhist, and I live in a country in which Buddhism is very much in the minority. I’ve always grown up celebrating Christmas not as a Christian festival, but as a time of spending time together with family, friends and our local community – which is very much in keeping with Buddhist ethics.

We still celebrate in much the same way, however I will usually have a nut roast or some kind of ‘bake’ – chestnut bake is a particular favourite! – rather than turkey. Some people from the sangha will do pujas during the Christmas period, some of my friends choose to go away on retreat over Christmas, but personally I just love having a time when the family are together, kindness is considered to be ‘the thing to do’ (the ‘Christmas spirit’) and relaxing!

So, do I celebrate Christmas? Absolutely! Not for its Christian roots but as a time where what we aim for in our everyday lives as Buddhists is attempted at by most people – kindness, compassion, empathy and friendship.

I’m part of the Triratna Buddhist Community (used to be called the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order) and have been going along to the Colchester Buddhist Centre for just over a year now, since being invited on Facebook to go on the young women’s retreat last January which spurred me on to find a sangha and start learning about meditation and Buddhism.

When I came back from that weekend retreat with lots more inspiring friends and a lot of enthusiasm and energy, I was even more sure that I wanted to ‘become’ a Buddhist and take things a little more seriously.

I’d identified with Buddhism on one level or another since I was at school and many of my blog entries from 2001-2004 made reference to meditation, reflection and Buddhist ideals (I recently rediscovered these, hooray for the power of the internet!).

The Triratna Buddhist Community

Friends

Within the Triratna Buddhist Community there are different levels of ‘commitment’ to use a slightly fuzzy phrase – firstly when you come along to classes you’re a ‘Friend’ .. you’ve made no firm commitment to Buddhism or the Triratna Buddhist Community but you are coming to classes and perhaps learning to meditate, finding a bit out about Buddhism and meeting people from the sangha.

Mitras

The next level is to become a Mitra. The word Mitra means ‘friend’ which can be a bit confusing given that when you first come along you’re classed as a ‘Friend’. Becoming a mitra involves making public declarations in a ceremony to the effect that you consider yourself to be Buddhist, want to live your life in line with the five precepts of Buddhism, and want to practice within the Triratna Buddhist Community. It basically is a public acknowledgement of your interest and commitment to Buddhism.

Becoming a Mitra does not mean you’re tied into one centre – becoming a Mitra in the Triratna Buddhist Community means you’re part of a worldwide movement. It also is not a lifelong commitment if you don’t want it to be – you can leave at any point in time.

Mitras do have access to the Dharma Training Course and usually attend weekly ‘Mitra Study’ which gives you the opportunity to learn more about Buddhism, explore the teachings and concepts in greater depth with a group of like-minded people.

Order Members

The next level of commitment is to ask for Ordination into the Triratna Buddhist Order. While the process can sometimes be quicker than usual, training for Ordination generally takes around 4 years but can be much longer. Ordination often takes place on a 3/4 month retreat at one of the Triratna Buddhist Order ordination centres, and you receive a new Buddhist name.

Becoming a Mitra

I’ve known I wanted to become a Mitra for a long time but haven’t really got around to doing anything about it .. for many reasons but mainly because I was quite happy coasting along (and being lazy!). Several people have been nudging me over the last few months asking when I was going to become a Mitra and after talking with Sanghamani at Sangha Day I thought it was about time I got around to asking to become a Mitra!

This was given to me shortly afterwards and I have found it to be quite true and thought provoking:

The Power of Commitment!

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative ( and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now”.

- J. W. von Goethe

Courage Tarot Card

Courage
This card shows a small wildflower that has met the challenge of the rocks and stones in its path to emerge into the light of day. Surrounded by an aura of bright golden light, it exposes the majesty of its tiny self. Unashamed, it is equal to the brightest sun.

When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out ofthe darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

The seed cannot know what is going to happen, the seed has never known the flower. And the seed cannot even believe that he has the potentiality to become a beautiful flower. Long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because unknown is the path, nothing is guaranteed. Nothing can be guaranteed. Thousand and one are the hazards of the journey, many are the pitfalls – and the seed is secure, hidden inside a hard core. But the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security,it starts moving. Immediately the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. And the seed was very hard and the sprout will be very, very soft and dangers will be many.

There was no danger for the seed, the seed coud have survived for millenia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, not knowing why. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.

The same path is for man. It is arduous. Much courage will be needed.

Someone mentioned the first line from this at our recent Women’s Study Day on practicing Buddhism while living in the world (another post coming on that soon!) and when I read up on it further, I found great value in this short piece. I think some of it reminds us to hold things lightly – that everything is impermenent, even our closest friendships and relationships – and we should not cling to them or crave them, but treasure our time with them, and appreciate them for what they are.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

“Human beings are today less free to think and feel simply, naturally, and spontaneously than at any other period in history.”

~Urgyen Sangharakshita

One who is endowed with three qualities is a friend to be followed.
What are these three qualities?
Giving what is difficult to give, doing what is difficult to do, and forgiving what is difficult to forgive.

~ The Buddha, Anguttara-Nikaya i.286

Though we all have the fear and the seeds of anger within us, we must learn not to water those seeds and instead nourish our positive qualities – those of compassion, understanding, and loving kindness.

Thich Nhat Hanh